Bali mountain sunrise in tears

The rain is pouring down, the clouds allow a bit of sky to show thru as the sun rises and fills up the Sky with Beautiful highlights of red and pink, grey and white and the bits of blue are tinted in a at that reminds me of Maxfield Parrish paintings I always wondered where that color really existed. Here it is ..

The birds are so beautiful singing the morning into the day. Here I can here a Gamelon musician playing in the distance. Cool and damp.

I sit and meditate, I rock back and forth in my grief, it hits me agin and again. again and again , m son died 6 weeks ago. HOw can it be tru? How could he be gone, so young so wise, so Shane. The tears are so real, yesterday, I had an afternoon while I shared with my roommate where it was me telling someone else story. No my story. Not my life.

Today I know again it is my life. I feel it in every cell in every moment, in each part of me, Hard to think how I can live with this. I have no choice, I must life with it, I must find new practices for my body an and should that not only let me live with it but help me process it, and maybe it will help other s also I don’t really know. but I do know I need to act on this

It is the time in my life for dancing and loving, and I wish taking car of my son with a new liver, but alas, he is not, instead, he is GONE. And I am here, trying to find a new way. A Purpose that is worthy of this deep loss,

Bali a place of healing or at least a place to find myself. Again, a place where the mountain is holding us. The jungle surrounds us. The sounds fill the empty places in the heart. A place where people are full of the love of the land. and who appreciate the family and community. Who live in harmony or so it appears,

Love it and feels it know that it is all so real and it is how we touch our inner most powerful places of love and where we find God

Because God is really all that there is
And how else can we live in this world

This must be a gift to strengthen my love and faith and so here in the beauty of the morning I find my grounding for a moment. In this world of distressing blessings.

Ahhhh yes.

Thunder in the distance … The day begins

Aloha! Pulelehua

Posted in travel

Bali Mountain Retreat

A wonderful day starting with a lovely hot break fast on my Deck and then a all an a massage 

Awaiting my friend Mary Lee, for the drive up to the the MOuntain.   Now this is the Jungle !

Located in the central part of Bali, In a small village,  it is full of the sounds of the jungle, birds and Monkey, lots of flying things.  ,  and huge papaya.  

Eating, chatting and resting.   A lovely way to spend the day…  

Thinking about those lovely coconuts .  

I feel very detached from my life today.  It is one of those days I wake in tears,  and then seem to express all my emotions at once.   Then the rest of they day feels like I’m someone else watching my life. 

I have a lovely roommate, I hope my tears don’t bother her too much in the night and days.  

The evening rain is starting.  I’m nervous about all the slippery places.  Using my walking stick regularly.

Our lovely room Arujana is located on the far edge of the property.  And seems to be where all the local dogs go by.   Fun to see them.  

Off for a dinner at sunset.  Wanting to be in the moment of the day.  And glad.  that I am not in the heart of depression.  Grateful for the rest and the lovely joy of being here. 

Posted in travel

Good morning Bali!

Aloha Bali

I just learned how to say good morning but it’s slipped my mind already

It is beautiful

The sound of the Yoga group chanting right outside my window, the fountain below. Room 37 is pretty nice. Big and comfy

The sacred is everywhere. It is common every day blessing.

A large mango tree shades the garden below. The birds are with their symphony of sounds. Bugs buzzing too but just a few. Every early before the scooters take over the soundscape.

The blessings of the drama talk in the yoga studio. While they do the poses. It is so lovely to watch I’m on the second floor right lined up so I can see the thru the trees. Bringing in the dawn with practices and prayers

Yesterday I worried I was in the wrong place, too tired and hungry… But today I find myself in paradise without the day to day tasks. I can write and rad, and walk along, cry and morn and keep on crying. Weep for my dearly departed dearest son. Weep for the lost heart. And finding a place to be grateful for all he gave, and for all he left behind. For the joy of his wisdom and calm.

Finding myself in the moment of today.

Rested after a long day of travel. 11 hours of sleep is a good start.

Feeling I am here. And yet where is that?

Place doesn’t matter, it’s all in the heart the heart of loving grace.

I’m glad I found myself to be awake predawn. I really value the silence. And now i find I am in the moment of all all awakenings
More birds, the sound varies throughout this hour of predawn and dawn the birds are happy to awaken singing. I want to awake singing so I shall. Hoonani ka makua Mau…….

The golden hour.. Lovely


View from my room


Writing and awaiting breakfast

Posted in Fun

Sunrise on Bass Lake

I awoke at my ʻnormalʻ time an hour before the sunrose. I set out to view the other side of the lake and watch the sunrise. Me and the dog. toooo tooo fun..

we ran, we sang, we danced we are sooooo happy ! what a start to an amazing day!IMG_8418.JPG




I spent much time in prayer for my sonʻs health and that he start taking care of himself. Go to the doctor and receive care. His sweet heart is so good to him. I Hope he turns around his health care for her if not for himself. Pray pray pray.





Posted in Fun

A Night of Lights Sept 14, 2014– And Vespers a few days before

Singing, candlelight, prayers desire to add dance.

Lucia and I attending Vespers at the Abby on Thursday night Sept 10, and it felt detached, somehow it was so had without having German and the Nunʻs sat out of sight so we were disconnected… we werenʻt near the other people sining so hard to do.


Then on Sunday we attended the night of lights worship and song, again not having the language did make it difficult. I think now we could have asked for more help or spent time talking afterwards, but the service was 90 minutes in a cool not to comfortable church, so i think we both were drawn to leave. Hard somtime to start the conversations. Luckily Lucia and I both like to chat so usually one of us makes the break through. We sang together with the local community. It was a good time for reflection. The readings were not something i could understand except occasional references to light and dark and Gott and like that. So i meditated, and made an audio file for lucia and sent her email with photos of the music

We are at St. Hildegards Parish church it was really really lovely in the candle light.



The Music from the service. There was no program we just waited for the Numbers for the songs to pop up on the display. the read, had a choir for some songs and we sang others. The candle lit space invited dance… but We didnʻt know these people or think to ask before the service happend. Lesson learned.


Posted in Fun, Germany, Hildegard de Bingen, music, travel

St. Hildegard Pilgrimage — Benedictine Abby Rudesheim

We awoke and revealed in the joys of our lovely Hotel Then set off for what was to be an hour walk to the Abby. We wandered to a less used trail (giggles) bought an umbrella for the rain that was blessing us and found our way thru forest and vineyards. The walk took closer to 2.5 hrs. but was only about 2miles. (okay yes I am very relaxed in my walking)

As we walked we find signage that showed us we were on the “Hildegard Weg” (see the brown nun on the sign post) .IMG_6847.JPGIMG_6858.JPGIMG_6857.JPG


We could see the towers as we approached the Abby. This is a very modern place, with a kloster (54 nuns) a gift shop (yes wine and schnapps were tasted). You can stay here as a guest. they not only tend their vineyards, they also do gold smithing and Restore manuscripts and have an astonishing library.





Qr codes to go to their websites, and Audio tours you can stream for the church.. modern world tools to walk in the ancient ways.



Okay yes the libary is my favorite


Our friend Betsey Beckman has lead pilgrimages in honor of the Feast day of St. Hildegard de Bingen.
Pulelehua and Lucia singing and dancing “Viriditas” (The Greening) inspired by the words of St. Hildegard put to music by Betsey Beckman In the background is the Benedictine Abby of St. Hildegard. Sacred Dance done in this sculpture garden


The Abby Church is so wonderful




We stayed for Vespers and then stayed to sing in the Church, including Viriditas and Ubi Caritas …. Lovely












Posted in Fun, Germany, Hildegard de Bingen, Sacred dance

Reflections on the Beginings and the Sacred dance Guild Board meeting and workshops

I have not taken time out to write much on this trip.

Did a bit of verbal recording, but mostly have just stayed busy, posted photos to FB and read books, txt friends, and listened to the world around me.

Lots of walks, Most mornings up for the dawnish time and then adventures throughout the day followed by morning walks. Time to sit, meditate and dream.

I left home a month ago and get home in 3 weeks, Seems like a forever time of travel with friends old and new.

This time started with amazing adventures with the Sacred Dance Guild Board in Ottawa Canada, My first delightful hosts took me to see the sights and let me rest to recuperate from the 20 hr trip.

Our 2013-14 SDG board of directors

The meeting and dancing began. We danced as faries, made sounds and felt our bodies, and came from the Goddess like a drop of water flowing to the river. We compared notes on where were were and where we might be. We dreamed and schemed. Much eating and walking by the river, socializing and planning… and before you know it we were done with the old and into the future planning a lovely festival of sacred dance for the summer of 2015. IMG_1545.JPG


Together with community near and far we shared a rejuvenating Weaving Webs of LIght workshop lead by Cherie Hill.




We meet on a rainy morning, in a lovely old church hall. I was so happy to see many friends from past sacred dance festivals and events. I’ve been a lifetime member of the Sacred Dance Guild since 1995 and the friendships are so deep even though we seldom meet in the flesh (thank God for social media).

We started by stretching our beings on a dusty floor, with a harp guiding us into relaxation. Revealing in the mess and finding a place to be our best stretched self. I was amoung the group around the edges altering the moves to fit my needs. Moving as we could and appreciating the many young and old who could still do all those moves.





Off we went into Creative movement through the Webs of Light, alone and in community. Finding a place deep inside where the webs are shining, and spinning out to friends familiar and new. Beauty surrounds us. The harpist continued to fill the air with inspiration.

A drummer appreared, we learned African dance moves across the floor. All the bodies interpreting the moves, into an amazing symphony of dance.
Amazing how all the same moves are different and yet the same together.
For the first time I felt one with these dances and enjoyed them from tip to toes.

The delightful annual SDG membership meeting was full of updates by the board members, giggles and wiggles while we ate our scrumptious lunch lovingly made by the ‘men’ of the SDG board. The State of the Guild address delivered by Wendy our President was full of Reality, Hope and Gratitude. What an amazing group that a business meeting can be so much fun.

The afternoon was full of more dancing, we learned the choreography to
Break the Chain A dance that is done all over the work on Valentines day to support the end of Violence against women. For more info on starting an event or finding one near you go to One Billion Rising

Then the Moving Mandalas, choreographed by Cherie, We danced a Mandala of love and meditation and hope. This dance we then shared on Sunday morning in a local park to fill our souls with the best of all we are.

That night we embodied a planetary dance. We each brought our petitions forward and walked and ran and moved them into a splendid prayer of healing for our intentions and the planet we live on.

I was changed by this day of dance and reflections and community. My sense of who i am came a bit clearer. Myself a bit stronger, fuller, more splendid and calmer…. ahhh




Debbie Danbrook and her musical friends joined us for Dancing by the park Sunday morning in a park by the River and by then the mandala moves inspired us at Remic Rapids rock sculptures on Monday Evening. These embodiments of our purpose are highlights of why I love being on this board, we meet hard, we plan well, we take chances, we put ourselves on the line and online and then we dance into the world around us.




I look forward to our continued struggles and joyous affections and to the upcoming festival



Posted in Canada, Fun, Sacred dance, travel

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